"Care". The word lost its meaning because I see how much it gets thrown into conversations with no real meaning. I don't know if it is the people around me or just the general loss of meaning in words. My so-called "friends" I trusted continue to show me how I, as of late, don't have good judgment of character. Maybe expecting too much of people is the reason, or it might be that they are the wrong people? Who knows.
Care should be a two-way feeling. The perfect care is between two people who, without many words, understand and do. Care and Love are very different things, though they do have their crossing points. Love is reserved for the special someone, although I experienced that it doesn't have to be a two-way feeling either. Care is just, well, caring. It is your good will that influences it, nothing else. It is just you and care looking at the other person, hoping they also care. The perfect example would be you going to the hospital and seeing your friends simply continuing their jolly day without even thinking about what happened to you. Of course, not many knew, you didn’t want to worry many people, but those who knew just did not care. There it is, “care”. You can not force it, but it does hurt when you see it isn’t there. Nobody can do anything about it; can’t just make it happen.
I understand the “I don’t care” attitude of many people; you cannot survive with endless care, “honor code” behavior, and other very clownish stuff. You just have to not care for your own sake. It is selfish, but only in the eyes of people who do it themselves. Why? Because they don't care to see, and simply can’t see for that very reason. Of course, hating people for not caring is a very unhealthy practice. Just be a mirror. Mirrors are safe and only hated for showing exactly what is in front of it.
Everyone finds their way for emotional survival. I would just disappear for a time. Someone I know occupies themselves with someone else, endless human attention with no obligations. When someone leaves, just play the victim, whine about it for a few days, and go on with your life. When someone leaves, it shows how much someone is worth to themselves. Having people around doesn’t change what someone is, good, bad, evil, sad, or whatever else. The kind of people someone has around shows what standards someone has, and who they are, good, bad, evil...
The point of care is not to get that care back. Care has no point; it just is, and there is nothing you can do to it. It comes and fades with time, but if it was there, it never truly goes away. Care turns into hate, stays there forever, or it becomes the big terrifying word - ”love”.
Tekst napisao:
Nikola Rakočević,
Napomena: Tekst je osvojio treće mesto na konkursu, na Univerzitetu Singidunum
